Now listen to part of a lecture on this topic in a psychology class.
I've used a version of this technique with my children. When my son Tommy was 8 years old, we moved here to Los Angeles. And when we first got here, Tommy was afraid to talk to the kids in the neighborhood. He was afraid they wouldn't accept him, that they wouldn't like him.
Then one Saturday afternoon, I saw Tommy looking out the window, watching some kids riding the bikes outside. Now, Tommy had a bike.He loved to ride, and I knew he really wanted to go out and play with those kids. So I said to him, Tommy, wanna walk down to the store and get some ice cream? And of course, he said okay. Then I said, and how about when we walk passedthose kids,let's just say, hi, ok? He was a little reluctant, but he said, okay, so we walked to the store, and as we approached the kids, I gave Tommy a little nudge, and he very bravely said, hi, the kids all said hi back to him, and very friendly, and as we continued walking, I could see Tommy starting to relax.
Then on the way back from the store, I said to him, how about this time when we walk past the kids, you say something nice to them about their bikes? He said okay, and I could tell he was feeling a little more confident now. And this time when we approached the kids, Tommy said to one of them, that's a really cool bike. I bet you can go really fast on that. And the other boy’s face lit up, and he said watch, and he rode his bike as fast as he could. Well, we reached home and a little while later, Tommy said to me, dad, I think I'm gonna go outside and ride my bicycle. So he went out on his bike and rode up to the other kids, and they started talking. And by the end of the afternoon, he made several new friends.
