OFFICIAL28 What revisions does the student need to make to his paper? [Click on 3 answers.]

[00:00.00]NARRATOR:Listen to part of a conversation between a student and a professor.
[00:12.07]MALE STUDENT: I'm so sorry I'm late, Professor Mills. [00:16.15] I just finished at the Student Medical Center—[00:18.39]I twisted my ankle playing soccer this morning. [00:20.78]It took longer than I expected to see the doctor.
[00:23.31]FEMALE PROFESSOR: That's OK. [00:24.21]Don't worry about it, David.[00:25.64]So, lets get started. [00:27.48]Your paper on John Dewey's political philosophy has a few issues I'd like to cover. [00:32.26]You gave a great biographical sketch in the beginning. OK. [00:35.39]But then as you get into his political philosophy, I don't think you've done enough to situate his philosophy within the time period. [00:43.11] In other words, you haven't connected Dewey's philosophy to the thinking of other intellectuals of the time.
[00:48.40]MALE STUDENT: So I haven't captured the most critical influences, the influences that were most significant to his political thinking?[00:55.83]FEMALE PROFESSOR: Exactly.[01:00.07]OK. Now look back up at this section here...where you wrote about Dewey's view of individuality. [01:11.22]This is all good content. [01:13.23]but you haven't presented the information in a systematic way. [01:16.48] I really think this portion on individuality needs to come later—after your paragraphs on Dewey's intellectual influences.[01:23.35]MALE STUDENT: After my revised paragraphs on what influenced him.[01:27.12]FEMALE PROFESSOR: Yes, revised. Let me ask, [01:30.50] uh, when you were finished writing, did you go back and ask yourself if all of the material was relevant?[01:36.03]MALE STUDENT: Well, no.[01:37.73]FEMALE PROFESSOR: I do think there are areas that can be cut. [01:40.52] I guess what I'm saying is that your paragraphs aren't really presented in a logical order...[01:44.99] the direction of your argument isn't crystal clear. [01:47.60] And there's some unnecessary material getting in the way.[01:50.58]MALE STUDENT: OK. Sounds like I have a lot to do.[01:53.77]FEMALE PROFESSOR: And one more thing ...do you have a copy of the department's document on the correct format for in-text citations and references?[02:01.09]MALE STUDENT: No, um, I-I mean, I looked at it online when I was working on this assignment.[02:06.72]FEMALE PROFESSOR: You really should print it out. [02:09.40] You're going to need it for every paper you write in the political science department. [02:14.02]It looks like you were getting it mixed up with another referencing system.[02:17.76]MALE STUDENT: Oh. Y ah, I used something different in high school. [02:21.21] It's so confusing switching to a new system.[02:23.90]FEMALE PROFESSOR: I know, but remember—everything needs to be consistent when it comes to referencing. [02:28.90]It's a very important academic convention.[02:31.27]Oh, also, I wanted to ask you...will you be at the Political Science Club meeting Saturday?[02:36.74]MALE STUDENT: Definitely. The topic's John Dewey![02:39.25]FEMALE PROFESSOR: Yes. Are you interested in leading part of the discussion? [02:42.64]Tom Hayward is looking for someone to help out. [02:44.83] I think you'll have a lot to contribute.[02:46.69]MALE STUDENT: That'd be fun! [02:47.60] I'll give him a call.